- a letter, a farewell, and tears -

Dear anneke,

wasting time with you, is so awesome. i speak to myself, it's hard for me not being an honest friend. but what is honesty & sincere ? & what is a friend, right ??
for some people like us, lies is a perfect weapon to survive. yea, right. we speak maybe truth, but we did always-always lies and pretent. to lie & pretent is the life that we ever have, no matter we dress in such a rebel, still we lost our own value.

Neu,
For all the moment and tears we ever had with, please ... let me speak something worthy.
i care for you... it's a fact. no matter how bad you treat me, & no matter how manipulating you are to me ...
i don't mind with it, never mind at all.
i know you, & it's enoughto realize how hard for you to stick on reality, or how rough your chosen ways.

Hey,
it's so hard for me to write this letter.
rubbing tears from your eyes, was the moment that i needed you at most. just to feel my loneliness and fill each others with presence. but somehow, your fears & walls put a space between us. but someway, your hope & cinderella's dream, my lack material & appearance always seperate us from telling our own truth.
the truth that we couln't be a friend as truly become.

Hmmph ...
you know,i'm thinking of myself ... i could have your friendship to cure my lonelyness, but it's wrong.
the more i know you, the more lonely i am, and ... the more i know myself, the more i feel that i'm just a frog compares to a rockstar in yourmind.
shit!!! it's hurt me.
How nice to be ***, how great to be **** and ... how perfect to be ****.
shit!!! damn me!!! a frogman facts.

Dear anne,

in front of you, i'm such meaningless.
how can i keep my self in piece if i couldn't make you indefendence ? how can i complete if you still paralyze with your own feet ?
and then, you found *****, **** and any others name in your list ...
capitalize such relationship, is very alienated. it's no differs than a whore. but a whore is honest, money is the only thing they need from their partners. no lies about friendship. what are you, then ??
tell me, if i'm wrong ...

i just want to embrace you, no more than it.
to fill the empty part of this heart,
i don't need hope cause i got my own dope

i want you to be happy ...
but please ... don't take a wrong way !
remember 14th April !! remember ***** ***

i'm going today ...
take care !
always take care !
-bye-