-I have to go! I have to go! Everybody has to go! Where the Fuck does everybody go when they have to go, huh?-

My god! people say. You have so much self-control!
And later: My god. You're so, so sick.
When people say this, they turn their heads, you've won your little game. You have proven your thesis that no-body-loves-me-every-body-hates-me, guess-I'll-just-eat-worms. You get to sink back into your hospital bed, shrieking with righteous indignation.
See?
you get to say. I knew you'd give up on me. I knew you'd leave.

so leave. just leave. you know i never asked you to stay.